the edge of giving up

Why should I put myself out there? I'm hopefully going to grad school in the Fall, and over the summer might be in a program. I won't be around, and no one would be able to come with me. I think the path I am half choosing, half being chosen for, is leading me down a very lonely road, and I wonder if it would be better to go it alone. I try to find someone to talk with and be around. You are never supposed to look for someone, because they are not to be found, but run in to. There is no one here. I feel the older I get, the older the dating pool gets, it is getting to be a larger extreme of representation between the people in this city. You either find the loftily-goaled who have to sacrifice in order to achieve their dreams, or the ones who have settled and "given up." Of course I am being mean, but I'm not particularly happy right now. So far the exploits in dating around here have taken me to two peoples who leave for school, one who has no time for me, and another who can't get her mind around the idea that she doesn't have to date an asshole to be happy. I wish her the best and all, but really, I hope she learns her lesson, and imo she deserves it every time she goes back for more. I'm "not allowed to call her anymore" because it "causes too much drama." What a load of horseshit. You begin to have less sympathy for women stuck in mentally abusive relationships when you are a good guy who gets rejected more often than not. What should I care though; saves me the hardship of things ending if they never start.

So what should happen? Am I just wasting energy and emotions trying to find social satisfaction? Maybe it would be better to assume a shell again and put on the facade of an asshole. I would at least know perfectly well why no one would be interested, or if they are interested, why they have no urge at all to put forth a footstep of effort. Then again, I might get more prospects since it seems there are more women comfortable being treated poorly than those who want to be respected.